so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL
read it here:
Literally my math teacher abandoned today’s lesson because some kid brought his kitten to school i don’t even know
don’t be a little shit to me on tinder
omg bruce, you are the dramatic teenage girl in this relationship
"that must be the uvula"
"oh, so its a girl house”
Wet Yourself! At The Party
i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong”
the twilight one is like abstract poetry
If you read it all together it’s like the most awkward, tense conversation ever.
"My name is Katniss Everdeen," I sighed. Nothing happened.
"I don’t know," he sighed.
Harry looked around, I shake my head and shrugged.
Harry stared. “I am seventeen years old.”
I frowned and he waited.
"My home is District 12."
Harry chuckled and said nothing. Now I wish I had.
I laughed. We looked at each other. I swallowed hard. He shrugged. Harry blinked and hesitates. I flinched.
He looked around. “I’m not really surprised.”
I took a deep breath, something he didn’t have last time. “Something is wrong.”
He didn’t answer. He stood up.
This is my handsome, cross-eyed cat, Gus!
BLESS THIS FUCKING CHILD OMG
"HELLO INFANT I AM BELUGA WHALE"
"YOU ALSO ARE BALD AND HAVE A BULBOUS FOREHEAD. LET US BE FRIENDS FORTHWITH."